Compassion and Charity

A familiar voice from a genetic counselor called yesterday afternoon. She called to tell me a new parent might be contacting me at home to talk about the daily experiences of raising a child with Down syndrome. The mother had just heard the news about her baby in her twentieth week of pregnancy, as I had in mine. The force of this news is like no other as it confronts a woman with a very personal question of life that rattles her to the core as she asks, “How do I go on from here?”

The answer remains the same each day of my life. I walk in faith and lean on the support of our loving community. Faith is my belief that the Holy Trinity is walking this journey with me. Each challenge I face is met with prayer. Each blessing I receive is sweetened with praise and thanksgiving. Each joy I experience is an appreciation of the grace of God in my life.

One might think that faith would be enough to sustain me, to build me up and hold me even in the strongest winds of change. I honestly couldn’t live my life as I do without faith in God, but I also know that he sent me a loving community to make sure I succeed on a day-to-day basis.

Community support is so varied and often spontaneous that I have learned to pay close attention to the subtleties I witness. Beginning with my own family, I welcome the new day and hustle through schedules with hugs, kisses, shared laughter, and even frustration that draws us in and apart, and back again to work it out.

The friends I talk to on the phone, or in person, are the same ones I call Sweetie, Honey, or Babe. They are my lifelines at times; my listening, coaching, counseling friends who see me through many decisions and wonderings. They are Christ’s arms, ears, and voice as the Spirit moves through them to me.

Community support comes often when I don’t expect it...at the grocery store, through a smiling cashier who graciously accepts the help from my daughter packing the bags. Support comes from neighbors who listen patiently as Hannah tells her stories, slowly and sometimes in disjointed fashion, but still extremely important for her to share. This communication is a gift shared between us when questions are asked and Hannah answers them with detail and pride.

Community support is evident in the swim class at the YMCA that started with a conversation about the lack of progress in thirty-minute sessions with few minutes devoted to individual attention. A few questions asked, a few ideas shared, leads to new opportunities to expand programs and offer more possibilities to children of all abilities. The extra teachers and assistants have shown such love and compassion that real progress is evident on many levels.

These are the greatest gifts I could ever impart to new parents facing the question, “How do I go on from here?” My response is to tell them to face each day expecting your own compassion and charity to be tested and stretched in many ways each day. Be ready to give and receive the beauty life has to offer as a result of your willingness to share your self, your talents, and your love on a whole new level. The blessings you receive will be so much greater than you ever imagined.