A New Baby to Love

I received the call on my cell phone as I was standing next to parents on the kindergarten playground. We were smiling and chatting about the fact it was Friday. The spring weather, the fresh breeze, and Friday approaching Saturday and Sunday were ours to anticipate.
I stepped away from the parents to answer the phone moving to a corner of the fenced playground so I could hear, “Hello?” I said.
“Hello, this is Susan from the hospital I.C.U. calling to speak with Diane from the Down syndrome support group,” she said.
“This is Diane, I suppose you are calling to tell me a new baby was born,” I said.
“Yes,” she answered, “The baby was actually born about a week ago.”
“How wonderful, a new baby!” I said, “I will do my best to keep information in my head before my daughter is released from her class in just a few minutes, then I will return your call in about twenty minutes when I am home to take down the details.”
This call was reason for celebration. A new baby had been born and the nurse or social worker was calling to talk to me about supporting this parent.
I hugged Hannah as she ran toward me, popcorn bag in hand from their celebration movie for a bonanza reading month, backpack straps on her shoulder, and her lunch box hanging around her neck down to her waist. She unloaded her goods into my hands and I deftly placed the backpack on my shoulder, the lunch box on my other shoulder, and held the bag of popcorn while she logged precious moments on the jungle gym with her friends.
After a few minutes of play time, and a moment to myself to take the news in, I approached the playground structure and looked up to Hannah on top of the slide platform, “A new baby was born today,” I said.
Hannah knew what followed this news, “A new baby?” she questioned happily, “Can we see it?”
“Yes, will you help me make a Hope basket?” I asked, knowing she would be happy to assist.
“Sure,” she said, scooting down the slide and off of the structure in minutes to hold my hand and leave the playground in record time.


As soon as we arrived at home I walked over to the phone and picked up a pen and paper. I listened to the voice recording on my home phone where the nurse first tried to reach me. Hannah would be upstairs changing her school clothes for a chunk of time so I had to phone while I could.
“Hello, may I speak to Susan?” I asked.
“Hello, this is Susan,” she said.
“Hi, this is Diane from the support group. I can speak to you now that I am off of the playground.”
“The mother is here now. Would you like to speak with her?” she asked.
I felt the excitement rush over me as I was about to speak with a new mom, a new sister, a new friend, who had no idea how loved she was at that very minute.
She answered the phone and we exchanged hellos and polite introductions, but I walked to the kitchen table to sit down, to be quiet, as I heard her sobs through her words.
“Lillian, this was surprising news for you, wasn’t it?” I said, exhaling the air I was holding.
“We knew something about it, but I really knew the minute I saw her open her eyes to look at me,” she sobbed.
She told me about her family, her children all waiting to hear the news, waiting for the story they anticipated. She asked me, “How do you tell your children?”
I said, “You just tell them as a mom loving her little girl, loving the sister you gave them, that they have a new sister...and she is adorable.” I explained that the words Down syndrome may or may not register with them right away, but tell them, and they’ll have time to learn about the unique abilities and characteristics of their sister.”
Lillian asked another question about spreading the news, “How do I announce we had a new baby and she has Down syndrome.”
I smiled and leaned forward to make a point, lowering my voice to speak directly to her... so she would hear me, “When you leave the hospital with your baby people aren’t going to say, ‘Look at that child with Down syndrome,' they are going to say, 'Look at that mom who loves her baby.' I know," I added,"Because I had the same fears, Lillian, but everyone will know your love for your child and they will support you, as we are here to support you, as I’m talking to you right now.”
We continued talking about her children and her family and I shared my family with her. I spoke of how each family member had been changed by Hannah, and how each person was sharing their best with her. “You have been your baby’s advocate,” I said, “And each person in your family will advocate for her as she grows and becomes her own advocate.”
Lillian’s voice became stronger as she told me about the fact that suspicions she and her husband had when she was pregnant wouldn’t have changed the outcome. She wouldn’t have aborted her child. She said, “But why am I so sad?”
“Go ahead and cry,” I said, “Cry and cry some more, Sweetheart, you thought you were going to have the perfect child for the entire time you were pregnant....and you did, only this child is perfect, and different from what you expected.”
“I know, she is perfect, and she is different, but I love her,” she said, “I just have to cry.”
“I want you to take the time you support yourself, cry, write...write it all down on paper to let your feelings pour out of you,” I said. “I’m still writing it all down, but I’m so darn happy right now that my little seven-year-old is reading! She’s reading up a storm!” I laughed.
“She is?” asked Lillian.
“Yes, so many things will amaze you every day about your little girl, just hold onto your seat and get ready for the ride.” I said.

We will meet each other tomorrow, or the next day. I will have my posse of friends, a few mothers and sometimes a dad of a child with Down syndrome. We will go to the hospital to hug this new family and give them our Hope basket, full of gifts for the baby and news about our affiliate group, and the associations, NDSS and NDSC.
Until then, I will think of her, the entire family, and make the basket with Hannah as I promised. I will be quiet, reviewing the conversation, writing, praying, feeling the blessing that has come over me first-hand from God. What a gift. Thank you for this new baby today, Lord, thank you!